Don't Boo Vote

When I first turned 18, I was excited to vote. Mostly because it meant I was an "adult". Little did I know being an adult is lame. I should have stayed young while I still could. I turned 18 on August 3, 2012, otherwise known as election year between Obama and Romney. I didn't know too much about either, except little snippets we watched in my Government and Citizenship class. I almost failed that class but ended up getting an A. Thanks Mr. Lehman. Anyway, I remember one specific video we watched about the election. It was a news clip from NBC, I believe. The news anchor was asking people why they were voting who they were voting for. Whenever it was someone voting for Obama, it played "circus" music in the background. We talked about how news stations will play "funny" music like subliminal messages to try and sway people against voting for them. I did end up voting for Romney back then, but probably for the wrong reasons. I did no research except when I read the little handout they give you when waiting to vote. Mostly I didn't think my vote would matter, so I just voted to say I did. Also to get the sticker, obviously.

Flash forward to me moving to college and just small elections happening. I did not vote in any sort of elections going on in that time. I don't even know if I voted for the SUU Student Body President. Which is a shame because I was even a part of the SUU Student Association and then Presidential Ambassadors. Somehow I was registered in Cedar City, so I couldn't vote for anything in American Fork. I didn't really care enough about Cedar City to vote for their officials (no offense Cedar. I just knew I wasn't going to be staying for very long, so I didn't think it was my problem who won or not).

Flash forward again to the 2016 elections. I had recently become friends with amazing people who are really passionate about voting. I still didn't really think my vote would matter. Also I couldn't remember where I was registered, so I just wasn't going to do it. My friends, Devin and Lexi, changed my mind. They were so passionate about it that I figured I would vote. Devin talked a lot about "boo voting". I didn't really understand what this was, so I either asked him to explain or I googled it so I could look like I knew what it was. Basically boo voting is when you don't vote, but you still complain about why the government is the way that it is. Devin probably went on a rant about how no one deserves to complain about the government unless they tried to stop it by voting. You can't just sit back, watch, and complain. You need to take a stand, and if things aren't going the way you want, then you can complain about it. You only get the right to complain if you vote. This really stuck with me. How many times had I complained about something happening that I didn't even try to stop? I decided then and there to vote every time I had the chance to.

Last month, I had the amazing opportunity to write voting postcards to random people around the world for the American Civil Liberties Union. Devin, of course, hosted the postcard party. We never said who or what to vote for, just encouraged people to vote. It was a lot of fun, and I hope our random postcards helped people decide to vote in this year's elections.

I'm proud to say that I did a lot more research for the 2016 elections and this year's elections. I may not be as informed as a lot of other people out there, but I'm better than I was in 2012. Also I'm at least trying instead of letting the elections pass by without doing anything and then complaining about it later on.

Whether you believe your vote will matter or not, you should do your civic duty and vote. That way you actually tried to do something to help your country. Also isn't it amazing that we have the opportunity to vote? We get to actually participate in making history! And if it doesn't go the way you voted, then you earned the right to complain about it.

The point of this post is, don't boo vote.

"Ready Player One" and Social Media

 This week I read the wonderful book, "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline. I also participated in a social media 10 day fast, as requested by the leader of the church I belong to. Now that I've finished the book and just got back onto social media, I realize how coincidental it was that I did these two things at the same time. I'll explain why.

First, you need to know what the book is about. "Ready Player One" is about a boy named Wade who lives in a futuristic version of Earth where they pretty much live their lives in a virtual reality called "The Oasis". Wade attends a virtual school, has virtual friends, and pretty much just plays games all day long in The Oasis. The book starts off with the man who created The Oasis dying and leaving clues in the virtual world for people to find the "Easter egg" he has left behind. When someone finds the Easter egg, they inherit his money and company. Naturally, Wade, a poor orphan, wants to find this so he can be rich, leave his crappy town, and never look back.

But the book is so much more than an orphan trying to become rich by playing a video game. It's about corrupt companies trying to make money off of people's joys in life. It's about how knowing someone and becoming their friend, loving them, isn't based on what a person looks like but about how they are as a person, how they think, act, and treat people. It's about how sometimes we do need a break from reality, but in the end reality is all we have so we have to make the most of it, which is how this book ties in to my recent social media fast.

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Last weekend, we had what is called "General Conference". We have two weekends a year, five two hour sessions where we get to hear our Prophet, his apostles, and other general authorities in our church speak to us. On one particular session, President Nelson, our Prophet, asked the ladies of the church to do a ten day social media fast. I decided to take his challenge because I personally felt that I had become too dependent on my social media. I was constantly checking Instagram and Facebook to see who had checked my story, if a certain person has posted something, and what meme was becoming popular. So ten days ago, I deleted my apps. Every time I touched my phone this week, my fingers automatically searched for those apps, even though I knew in my head that they were not there.

 This morning I redownloaded the apps. As I was cooking my breakfast, I scrolled through my Instagram, noticing that I didn't really care about a lot of things. During lunch I scrolled through my Facebook, realizing the same thing. I  mean, I love my friends and love seeing what everyone is doing with their lives, but I feel like I didn't need to see these things like I felt like I needed to before. But I know if I continue looking at these apps, I'll get addicted again, feel like I need to look and see if someone posted something even though I checked literally 40 seconds ago.

Today while I was on my walk, listening to "Ready Player One", there was a line that caught my attention that really made me think about my social media usage: "as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real." Occasionally people post about the terrifying and the painful things that happen to them, but usually they only post about the good that is happening to them.  Which is great, I'm glad good things are happening. But I feel like we don't enjoy the moments we post about as much as we should because we might just be doing it to post about it. We crave the "likes" our post with get. We think those will make us happy. And it kind of does. It makes us feel good, feel liked, but it only lasts for a little bit, which is why we post again, again, and again. We need to look at what really makes us happy and live in those moments. I feel like I've been able to do a lot more since I deleted my apps this week. I have most of my Christmas shopping done, and it's not even November!

I don't want to give social media up entirely because this is what today's world is. It is a way to keep in touch with those that live miles away as well as those who live next door. So to help myself live in those moments more, while still having social media, I have personally decided to limit usage with a cool new tool on my phone. The new iPhone update shows screen time usage every week, which apps someone has used, and for how long. When you go into the new app, you can click on each social app and set a limit each day for however long you want. Since I haven't done it before, I'm assuming the app will just kick you out once your limit is up, thus making it so you cannot go on again until the next day. I just put a 30 minute time limit on each of my apps because I feel like that is a good amount of time for me to catch up on my friend's lives without wasting too much time, especially now that I've unfollowed a ton of accounts that I don't need in my life.

I'm not trying to say you need to give up social media or anything. I really believe that social media is great, we just need to be more aware of our usage of it. It's a  very personal thing, and you do whatever you feel is right for you. I do suggest that you read this book though. It really is amazing. Fare warning, it does have some F bombs and can be a little crude at some points. I really did love the writing, the characters, and the world. It is very relatable to today's world, and I wouldn't be surprised if one day we have an "Oasis" of our own. Also it talks a ton about the 80's, so if you're into that, you will love it. Also if you would like to know more about the social media fast I participated in, here is the link to President Nelson's Talk.

If you made it this far (this post was longer than I expected it to be) thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts on social media and if you've read the book, I'd love to discuss that with you as well! You can reach me on Instagram or Facebook, I'll be sure to answer you in the thirty minutes I've given myself ;).

Depression and Lots of Rain Similes #seizetheawkward

There is something about rain that makes my heart feel at ease. I love the way rain sounds as it pitter-patters on the roof. I love when the thunder is far enough away that it sounds like a stomach growling from hunger. I love that you can smell rain before it has even begun to fall. I love how the cloudy days remind of walking down the road in London. I love the connection I feel with the world around me when it rains.

I'm writing this as it is raining outside, my window wide open. I've closed my eyes a few times now, just to listen to the different sounds it makes as it falls against the window, fence, roof, grass, and pavement. I could go stand outside and let it wash over me, but I just settle for breathing in deep and letting it cleanse my soul instead. I know it's crazy, but I feel like it actually does clean my soul, in a way.

I guess it is not as much as a cleansing as a connection. This last weekend I was pretty depressed, and I feel like the weather is finally matching my mood, which actually helps me feel less depressed. Actually, I think there is research behind the theory that depressed and anxious people feel better when it rains. Scientific or not, the rain helps me know everything will be alright. That everything storms for a bit, but it will pass soon enough. It also shows me that if mother nature can grow dark and let a few drops out, then it is okay if I do too.

It's amazing to me that there are different types of rain. There is the kind of rain in hurricanes and tropical storms that causes damages through flooding. This weekend I feel like my depression was closer to the hurricane side, never realizing the damage I was doing until it passed. Some times I wonder why I have this and remember that all the trials we are given are meant to help us grow. Hurricanes and floods aren't the only things rain can do. Rain can be helpful. It can put fires out, water plants, and add to water supplies. So how can my depression be something helpful? I feel like my depression has helped me feel deeper and stronger, in some ways, which has helped me empathize with others a lot more. It has helped me grow closer to God and Christ because I know someone is there helping me when I feel helpless. It has helped me recognize that feelings are valid and should never be overlooked.

Also depression is like thunder. Sometimes you can hear thunder coming, from far away. It starts out as a low rumble, getting louder the closer it gets. Then sometimes you're just sitting there and with no warning at all there's a loud clap of thunder that leaves your body trembling. Sometimes I can feel my depression slowly creeping in, which I'm grateful for because then I can better prepare myself for when it comes. But sometimes It doesn't happen that way. I can be driving around on a Friday night with my friends, having a great time when it will just overwhelm me. Sometimes I'll just wake up and it will be there full force. Just like the weather, I can't really control when it happens, I just have to handle it the best way I can when it shows up. And there are different ways to handle it. Some days it takes all of my energy just to take a shower and turn Netflix on, whereas on other days I am able to not only shower but go to work, exercise, and hang out. I just have to take it one day at a time, assess the situation when it happens, know that it will pass eventually (even if it may not seem like it at the time) and remember that I have people who love me.

Sorry for all the rain similes, but it makes depression easier to talk about for some reason. This week is mental illness awareness week, so I felt like I had to #seizetheawkward and talk about it a little. I know I need to talk about it more, but I do feel a little awkward bringing it up, which no one should ever feel awkward about talking about it. 1 in 4 people suffer from a mental illness, so they are pretty common and we need to make talking about it common too. Please know that you are loved. I am here for you and if you ever need to talk, please do not hesitate to call or text me! To know more about the Seize the Awkward movement, I have inserted a link for your convenience:
https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Mental-Illness-Awareness-Week

There are an unlimited amount of these coupons, and they never expire! In the words of Kim Possible theme song: "Whenever you need me baby, call me, beep me, if ya wanna reach me".

This Week's Obsession: Josh Groban

This week my mind has been occupied with pretty much one person. Does it mean you're in love if you can't wait until the next time you see them or hear their voice? Then I must be in love because this week I just can't seem to get Josh Groban off my mind. Let's be honest, this isn't just a "this week" obsession, it's more of a "my life" obsession.

Josh (yes, we are on a first name basis) has recently had two major things happen in his life recently. Last Friday, September 21st, his new album, "Bridges", was released, as well as the Netflix original series, "The Good Cop", in which he is the main character.

First we'll talk about "Bridges".

I love it! I think this is my second favorite album, my first favorite being "Closer". I feel like Josh really lets himself get more personal on these songs. They are more personal to his life and what he is feeling. In an interview with "Time" Josh even says writing "Bridges" was "like exorcising a demon". Don't get me wrong, I absolutely swoon over the love songs he sings, but I love how real some of his new songs are. 

"The Good Cop" is exactly how it sounds.

 It's a cop show about a good cop. And it's just good. I definitely will watch all of it, but it is not on my list of my top ten favorite tv shows. I feel like Tony Danza is trying to hard to be funny in the show. I just don't get a lot of chemistry between the characters. They're obviously trying to get a possible romance between Josh's character, Tony Jr, and his partner, Cora, in the show, but I'm not feeling it. I also am not feeling the father son chemistry between Tony, Tony Danza's character, and Tony Jr, Josh Groban's character. They just don't fit together in my brain. I have only watched three episodes though, so maybe it gets better. My favorite character Josh ever plays is Andy's brother from "The Office", and even then his acting isn't as good as his singing.

My all time favorite album is "Closer".

 Mostly because those songs are the most romantic. I pretty much die every time I hear "My Confession", "Remember When it Rained", "When You Say You Love Me", and "Broken Vow". Also did I mention he can sing in like five different languages? Also he can play the piano. Also he has the voice of a heavenly angel. We are so blessed to have his voice guide us in this dark world.

So, is this love? Who knows. Whether it is or not, I know I'm glad that he decided to share his talent with the world. God bless you Josh Groban and all you do for us.

P.S. If anyone has a spare ticket to his concert in October, let me know ;).

P.P.S. Yes, I am fully aware that my obsession is unhealthy, but look at it this way, at least I'm not doing drugs!

It's Been Too Long

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I posted on here. I really am going to try to be better about writing. I've missed it. I think sometimes I keep things in too much and writing helps me let things out. Let's see. What has happened to me in a year?

I got a job last November selling electronics on eBay for an electronic recycler/reseller company. I love the people I work with. They are amazing. There probably about 40 at most people in the company, five of which are women. My department is just me and two other ladies, Kim and Andy. They are amazing. I'm so grateful to have them in my life.

I've been to so many weddings in the last year, I'm going to go broke from buying gifts! I'm so happy for all of my friends who have found the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I'm especially happy for my friend Taylor and my sister Sydnie. I was actually with Taylor when she met her new husband. I credit their relationship somewhat to me because I helped convince her to go give him her number when we were about to leave. I'm also very happy to have a new brother in the family. We love Syd's husband and are so glad she has found someone who completes her.

My friends and I bought gym passes to try and get healthier. I'm not going as much as I was earlier this year, but I have lost 10-15 (depending on the day ;) ) pounds this year. I actually need to go buy new jeans soon, they're starting to sag. I have gained a bigger appreciation for exercise and eating healthier. Also I ran my fastest mile yet the other day in 8:54!!!

I started a mini book club with my friend, Jacob. We try to talk every week about the books we read over the app, Marco Polo. It's been really good for the both of us. We each have a goal on Goodreads to read a certain amount of books by the end of the year, and this helps keep us accountable to that. It also helps us keep in touch with each other as we live in different states.

Most importantly, I think I've been happier this year. I definitely do still get depressed, but it seems a bit more manageable. I think I have a lot of that relief to thank Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for. I've really tried to put more of an effort into my relationship with them. I am very grateful to them and the blessings they give me each day. Some days are harder than others, but there's always some sort of blessing in each day that I can find and be thankful for.

Well, that's pretty much how my year has gone. I'm going to be better at blogging from now on. It helps me clear my head and let me get words out, which is sometimes hard for me.

Until next week!
Jaclyn

Be the Good in the World

Over the last few months a lot of crappy things have been happening all across the globe. There have been shootings, natural disasters, bombings, and many more awful things. It just makes me so sad that there is so much suffering in the world to people who do not deserve it. So I don't know about you, but I badly need to remember that there is love and hope in the world. I've gathered together some of my favorite quotes and pictures that help me see that although we live in such an awful time, there is always hope.

1. Anne Frank is a huge inspiration to me. She went through so much in her lifetime that I can't even imagine being in her shoes. In her diary she has multiple quotes that help me see that even though terrible things happen we need to keep a positive attitude.

2. Samwise Gamgee is one of the best literary characters ever. His speech during The Two Towers always helps me have hope that there is good in the world, even when everything sucks, we just need to look for it. 

3. J.K. Rowling is an amazing author. She taught the world so much just through the Harry Potter series. She taught us that there is always good and bad, we just have to find the good and sometimes we have to be the light in the world.

4. The newest version of Cinderella brought us this beautiful quote about how we need to be kind to help there be more kindness and goodness in the world.

5. Here are a few articles that show there is good in people.

Army of volunteers line the streets to help Hurricane Harvey victims

http://www.lifebuzz.com/acts-of-kindness/

https://www.buzzfeed.com/cassiesmyth/pictures-that-prove-theres-more-good-in-the-world-than-bad?utm_term=.jrJEyr2d1X#.ur9WLKp4zP

There's so much crap going on in the world, some of it we can't control, but there are so many things that can help us see the good in the world. Even something as small as smiling at a person on the street can help. Try to be the good in your life and in someone else's, it makes the world a better place to live in. 

Sometimes Life Throws You a Curveball

If you need to know one thing about me, it's that I absolutely hate confrontation. I will do almost everything to not have to confront someone about something. So here's me kind of confronting a problem, but still avoiding telling people face to face because I'm a huge chicken.

These last few months have been a bit of a struggle bus for me. If I'm being honest, it kind of started a year ago. A few semesters ago, I was in my English education capstone class. We did a personality test, and I learned I was a phlegmatic (easy going, quiet, etc.). My teacher explained that out of all the teacher personalities, phlegmatics get burned out the fastest. As I got to know my personality better, I started to wonder if I really did want to be a teacher, or if I'd just wanted to be one for so long that I just went with it. This last semester I did my student teaching. There was definitely at least one or two days where I really liked it, but most of the days I didn't. I told people I was loving it because that's what they expected. I think I was also hoping if I said it enough then I would believe it. When I finished student teaching, everyone kept pressuring me to get job interviews. Every interview I went to I felt uncomfortable and knew I didn't want to be there. I almost started crying before one because I felt so sick being there. I stopped going to interviews and just avoided questions about getting a job as best I could, still not telling anyone how I felt. I wasn't sure if I was just afraid of taking the next step into adulthood, or if I really shouldn't be teaching. I started to pray about it a few weeks ago and I was struggling to get an answer. People kept trying to help me find a job, and I would just shut down and try to change the subject. I was grateful for their help, but I also hated that I felt like I couldn't tell them what I was feeling. I was afraid of disappointing the people around me. I've talked about being a teacher since I was in elementary school, and everyone has kind of expected it since then. I also didn't want to tell them because then they might be mad that I wasted my time and money, not to mention my family's time and money, in going to school for five years to end up in something I didn't want to be in. I already feel like I've disappointed people in so many other aspects of my life, I didn't want to do it again. Finally, a few days ago I remembered a lesson I had in institute once about receiving revelation. My teacher said that sometimes we have to make our own decision, then ask Heavenly Father if it is the right decision. I was in my car driving home from Provo, feeling very confused about where my life needed to go. I decided then to not be a teacher, for now, and asked God if that was okay. Almost immediately after I made the decision, I felt more peaceful than I had in a long time. I felt like a giant load had been taken off of my shoulders.


So here I am, living at my parents, working a part time job that is only $9/hr, the family disappointment, but I feel alright with that for now. I want those who have supported me and tried to help me find a teaching job that I am grateful for them, but I'm where I need to be at the moment. I just need to find out what interests me enough to go into. All I know is I like books, movies, and helping people. I'm considering a masters degree in Library Sciences so I can be around books, a masters in film studies so I can be around movies, or possibly a masters in counseling/therapy because I want to help people, and I'm good at listening to their problems. I think it would also be really cool to try to work/live in England somehow, but I have no idea where to even begin with that. Also my dad once told me he had a dream I worked in the forest service, so who knows what the future will bring? If you have any suggestions I'm completely open to them. All I have left to say is

because I'm going to be here a while.

Jaclyn out.