Self-Confidence and Loving Myself

I’ve been in Germany for almost a month now, and it’s been going great. I know my last post was a little pessimistic about being here because I was afraid of a lot of things, but I feel a lot better about being here now. I think just writing down and acknowledging my fears really helped me move on from them. I wasn’t keeping them inside any more. I still get nervous about a few things, but I’m not freaked out any more. Now that I’m passed my irrational and paralyzing fears, I’ve realized how good I feel.

My cousin, Melanie, shared an article with me the other day about how Rice University, Columbia University, and The University of North Carolina were studying how living abroad helps with “self-concept clarity”. Basically, people who live abroad have a better sense of self/their values/beliefs, are less stressed, more satisfied with life, and have enhanced clarity about careers. You can read the article Here. After she shared this article with me, I could see some of these happening in my life as I’ve been away.

I have spent a lot of time by myself this last month. I wouldn’t say I’ve gotten to know myself more, but I have come to love and accept myself more. If you didn’t already know, I’m a very nice, introverted, and awkward person. I used to be insecure about these traits, among others, and some times I still am, but I’m more confident in that it’s who I am and I like myself that way. I don’t have to change if I don’t want to.

I do feel less stressed while I’m out here, but mostly because I don’t have a lot to stress about. I’m taking things at my own pace, and I feel really good about how things have been going out here. I am more satisfied with my life. I am not as depressed out here as I was back in the states. It’s amazing to me how calm and not depressed I’ve been. I just feel good. I don’t feel any pressure or weight on my shoulders (besides the usual tightness from my hard bed 😉).

I’m still working on the “enhanced clarity about careers” part. I do know I want to be a mom, but that won’t happen for a lot of time (my cousin informed me this week that I’m blind and can’t tell when a guy is interested in me 🙄 LOL). I still don’t know a whole lot of what I want to do career wise, but that is okay. I just need to figure out a couple more things, which is totally fine. I’ve got plenty of time. I’m only 24. I don’t have to decide on any one thing yet. If I ever do get stuck, I’ll just take a helpful Buzzfeed quiz ha ha.

Overall, my trip hasn’t been what I expected, but that is not a bad thing at all. I love how it is turning out. I was joking when I told my uncle I was going to “find myself” while I was over here, and he was right in his reply that no matter where you go, you’re always there. I’m glad that I’m liking and accepting myself more because I’m my constant companion. Have you ever travelled with someone you hated? It sucks. You are the one person you are constantly with, so you might as well love yourself.